Letter of Gratitude

31 December 2022

Last morning of 2022. I made myself a coffee. It's summer here so I enjoy my coffee outside in the garden. It's nice. Not too hot. Buddy the dog joins me and he lies at my feet and I put my feet on him because he loves it. Scully comes in, meows and climbs on the swing where I am sitting. Usually she is afraid of it but here, no, she even hurries to join me! She purrs and lies down against me and looks at me. Suddenly, still there with my coffee in my hand, I look at her too and start to cry. That's it! I realize! I'm in New Zealand with Scully. 2 years and 3 months I've been seeing this scene in my imagination and now it's reality, but more importantly, I'm realizing it!

I REALIZE! Finally...

Finally I realize!

Finally Scully is here and healthy. Some people had said to me "imagine you take her and she dies 6 months later? Well, I can answer them: She's been here for 6 months and she's fine (and as I write these lines, I swear it's true, she just climbed a tree before my eyes! I'm amazed, I've never seen her do that!)

Finally I am with Leanne. We wake up together, we eat together, we sleep together, we watch TV together, we go for walks together, we walk the dog together, we laugh together...

I feel like I'm describing a normal life. But, me, as a couple, 20 000km away from where I was born, with my cat... is not normal in my eyes. LOL How did I get here? How do I heal from these two years and three months?

In the end in 3 years I sold everything I had, sold my house and waited. I was very angry. I cried a lot. Much sadder tears than the ones this morning. I worked on myself. And I waited again.

And now, in 6 months, I've quit my job, left my apartment. I did all the paperwork for Scully. I did all my paperwork to get on a plane. I flew halfway around the world. I met up with Leanne. We managed the Work Partner Visa application. I waited 2 months in the stress of receiving "your visa is refused, you have 21 days to leave the country". But little by little the stress went away because the more the days passed the more I realised that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. And I was right. I got my Visa. I opened a bank account. I applied for the local tax system (not the happiest thing in the world, but part of the integration process), I bought a car, I made a CV in English, I started looking for a job, I learned English better than I did in 7 years of high school, and all that in 6 months! Without forgetting the visits to more than 5 cities in New Zealand, the meeting of Leanne's family, the parents, the sister, the nieces, the little nieces and nephews, the sons, the girlfriends of the sons...... Oula! that's a lot of people all at once. And it's a bit of a new family, so I realise that too!

In any case, I didn't spend these 6 months in the best of zen attitudes. But my reflexologist was right, "you'll keep working on yourself there Celine, not everything will be perfect when you get on the plane!" That's true...

So I keep trying to be better. And if what I'm writing is a letter of gratitude to life, I'm most grateful to Leanne who is making me a better person than I was yesterday. Without her, none of this would be written. None of this would have happened. She soothes me. She helps me. She translates for me all day long. She explains to me when it's different from France, and that's all the time! She gives me the love I never had in 38 years! Lol Between 2011 and 2018 I was really convinced that I would be alone all my life, I had even accepted it. And here I am at the end of 2022. It's true what they say: everything is possible in life and it's full of surprises.

Thanks to life. Thank you for the experiences, good or bad, which allow us in both cases to move forward, to evolve. Thank you Leanne for all that you bring to me every day. I love you so much. Thank you to my family for supporting me without ever judging me for leaving, especially my parents whom I love so much. Thank you to Leanne's family for opening their arms to me already, as if I had been there for a long time. Thank you to all the New Zealanders who say "Welcome to New Zealand". Thank you to all the people who say to me in response to the phrase I've said the most in 6 months: "I'm sorry, I don't understand" - "No, no, don't apologize! »

I want to thank Lara who welcomed me with open arms to the Op Shop where I have been volunteering for the last 6 months. (Oh yes, I did that too!) She was lovely to me, patient, and helped me integrate into the community. I would like to say thank you to the team I work with, Kathleen, Frances and Liz.

I would like to say thank you to Liz and Jill, my lovely neighbours with whom I learned a little bit of pottery (oh yes I did that too!), their caring and positive attitude. Not forgetting Anthea. And then all the people in my street who welcomed me.

I don't forget the French girls Betty, Geneviève and Nadine. With whom I could speak French and that allows a smooth transition... LOL They too were welcoming and lovely to me (I wink to Philippe too, Valery and Alain)

I say thanks again to all my friends, colleagues, family, and followers for contributing to Scully's fund so I could take her with me.

And then those in France who are still part of my life. I can't mention everyone, I'll forget some and I'd be sorry. But I think in particular of Sophie mi for our regular vocals. You are still here and you will stay. And I finish with the best, Aurore, 30 years of friendship, I think I can say that you are like my sister. Our almost daily vocals are just another ray of sunshine in an already sunny day. You don't seem so far away. On the contrary, you're always there with me, giving me advice and listening to me. I realise that these two years and three months would have been even harder without Aurore, and without Sophie mi.

Thank you to you girls.

In the end...I am very lucky. Our brain always sees the negative more than the positive. It seems that it's been in our cells since the dawn of time, the history of the evolution of species...yes, it's scientific! But still, it's about time that I (and you too who are reading these words) managed to see the positive in our lives. Health, the main thing. Then the rest around, having a home, people who love us.

Goodbye 2022! I say hello to 2023 in a few hours with a big smile and with a long gone feeling that has returned: Confidence.

To you who took the time to read this, thank you, and I wish you the best for 2023. Make a wish... It will come true. Have confidence. In yourself. And in life.